Confessions of a Slightly Depressed Starter Blogger
Hey Misfit Yogis! First of all I would like to apologise for not posting in a while. I have made the excuse about saying that life happens or something like it but it doesn´t seem to be enough at this point. While I may not be a full-time blogger or have many followers, I should give more to the ones who do. For the simple fact that you cared or believed in my vision enough to sign up. I owe you this post to ´splain myself.
I finished designing the website Misfit Yoga in September during my vacation in Manila. With the loss of my cats Willow and Tara, I didn’t want to go out. I then channeled that grief into building the site to at least, get it up and running. The plan was to start a posting schedule once I got back to Madrid. That did not happen.
When I got back to reality, it also meant that I had a ton of paperwork to come home to. First, my residency. I had to file that with my partner. He and I had bank papers, health insurance, certificates that prove we are legally single, etc. we had 4 days `til said appointment. Being denied once before I was gun shy and basically just wanted to close myself off til it was done. Without Ivan being the way he is, I probably would have given up. The waiting period after the appointment also meant that I couldn’t find a job until I was approved or denied.
I was bored, worried, both for a good month and a half. I could teach classes but only the bare minimum amount. So I couldn't really go out because I had to save every cent I had for my fixed bills. I couldn’t write about anything except how much this situation sucked.
My life was all about going to the gym, teach what little classes I had and call it a day. Even going out for coffee seemed like a frivolous expense that I didn’t need. Not being able to be social for a semi extrovert like me is a little torturous. So I felt the toll it took on my spirit.
The classes I taught were good for me though. I learned a lot from them as they learned from me as good teacher-student relationships should be. I felt at-home at the studio with my students. On the other-hand, being at the studio with studio owners was not. learning the nuances of the business of yoga was foreign to me. Suddenly I had a 3-student minimum, the payment plan wasn’t as client friendly, it was a slow push to my
class´death because my boss was suffering from burnout. Information I could have used at the time so I could look for other venues. Instead, I posted the ads, found my clients only to have them disappear within 2 months due to an outside source. this is the 3rd time I have been screwed over here. Add that to my emotional descent.
In addition to this, the more class time I had, I realised that my aerial training was on it´s plateau. This is what happens when you invest in cheap education… you get exactly what you pay for. I was class planning through Youtube and Pinterest. I knew I needed more training but I don´t have enough money coming in to save for it. The more I spent time class planning the angrier I got with myself and the damn bamboozlers of yoga that I put my hard-earned money on.
Apart from the physical part of my job as a yoga teacher. I took a writing job to gain confidence in my skills. I write articles for momoyoga.com a new online platform based in the Netherlands. In my head I was thinking: If I write for someone else I can learn from my editor as well as get used to sending my work off to knowingly be read by a community. It was an anxiety attack with every click really. Though, now that I´m on my 3rd month it doesn’t seem to be so bad. I did get side-tracked between writing for money versus writing for misfit yoga. I spiralled into more stress about seeing my project through or leaning my efforts towards writing with remuneration.
Which brings me to the cusp of Christmas. I had to talk to someone other than my man. He has 99 problems but I´m determined not to be one of them. So I talked to my friend Daniel. I basically explained all this in tears because as I spoke, I actually felt that I was drowning. He went through something similar so he was actually the perfect person to reach out to. He said that i needed to get on making that schedule. I had my stuff which includes, the jobs, the writing, the site, and the training. After that I can think about the things I have with my other half. I can´t help a drowning man if I don´t know how to swim.
So here I am. Faking it for now. I have drawn up a schedule, I invested in 2 kindle books on the business side of yoga and how to survive the `Wellpreneur´ world. I have made a few reachable goals divided in 3 month increments. I made a Pinterest Vision board according to the books I´m reading. I am still learning so I have opened up a comments section for when I post this on misfit yoga and you can comment on Facebook if you want as well. I am open to advice. If all of you are still there, I am sorry for the delay. I will try to be better. This is the best I can do for now and I
won´t beat myself up for it anymore. Nahmaste Misfit Yogis!
IF you are interested in the books I´m reading, here are the links to their amazon pages: